Talent Exposed

So, I talked with my roomie today... very long and emotional conversation between us... her mother is one crazy lady and i can't believe she would say those things about me... she doesn't even know who i am... but i have lost sight of who I am... its like i have been so wrapped up with Grad school drama to realize that i have been in a very bad mood... i haven't taken any of my moodiness out on anyone... Tara just always feels like she a victim because of her pass tack record with other room mates... but when i realized that her mother wanted her to move out... if that were to happen that is not the way i wanted to go down... and the talk we had me me realize that...

1. Her mother rules with an iron fist and she can't stand up to her mother at all... she is very weak
2. She uses her illness to make you feel sorry for her... so, if my moodiness continued... i would be responsible for her getting sicker.

Sorry that is not the way that works... if you can't keep yourself in check then serious go cry home to your mama... and i do take responsibility for my actions... and i apologize for it... there is nothing else i can do for her... i am so done playing the accused villain... if anything she should be happy that I am not a real bitch like her other room mates... (sigh)

Lunch with Leo was amazing... he always can put things in perspective for me... he really cares about me so much... he truly is a friend and someone i admire with all my heart... our conversations always have something new to teach me... today's lesson is "my talent"...

Everyone says that i am talented... i am very happy that people like my work... i work very hard on my craft... but then he gave me criticism... like you need to learn how to take criticism better because it will help you get better... and yes i know that i lack confidences sometimes ... i suppose that it is hard because it's possible that i don't believe in myself enough... gosh, if i thought i was going to be feeling like this over grad school... but he told me that my mood has been very different... i look like i am sad all the time and he feels its because i am stressed over getting rejected or not finding out about other schools... its true and i told Tara that today... our talked helped me realize that i was becoming someone i never thought i would be... and i excused myself for acting that way... i made it perfectly clear that she can not relate her stuff to what i am going through because it is not the same at all... but i hope our conversation smoothed things over... for now and without her mother interfering...

well, Daddy just help me through this... help be stronger and wiser about everything that is happening to me right now... i miss u the most... always!!!

but all in all i guess i will have to learn to know that "I am talented" and I should be very proud of that!!

Besos